Bring on the bartering......and the food!!

Good evening from Bangkok faithful followers (that's right, more than one person is reading this, and you thought it was just you.....)

As I type it is 10pm and I am once again lounging on the day bed by the pool, overlooking the river, you know the one.  Well what as day it has been, pull up a chair and turn of Corrie, here we go.....

Woke up a wee bit off kilter this morning, got up and pottered again (well it was 5am) and once I had got myself reasonably together I thought about a plan of action.  Now, as some of you know this is not my first trip to Bangkok, so I have done all the major tourist attractions, but there are a few that never get boring.  The river, the temples and shopping for toot.

As it happens, I am very close to all 3 so I decided that today would be the day for toot shopping and getting my bearings.  This took slightly longer than normal, must be the jet lag, the heat and the lack of a guidebook, but I wandered round the general vicinity like a tit in a trance for a couple of hours, and when the sweat dripping from my top lip became too much for everyone around me, I decided it was time for a bit of brunch.

This consisted of Thai yellow curry and sticky rice, not my usual breakfast fayre but when in Rome and all that.  It was nomtastic.  And at 70 baht a bloody bargain (the exchange rate is 51 baht to the pound.....need I say more).

So after brunch and getting my bearings with a slight plan forming, I felt a little tired so I retired to the hotel for a little siesta.  Not normally like me, but once again I'm still adjusting.  After standing in front of the air con for 20 mins to dry the sweat, I lay on the bed watching the river pass by my window.  Then I got up  I can't do siesta.  Put on another outfit and came down to the pool to chill and once again watch the river life pass by. And man alive its hot here.  Not hot, hot hot.  Humid hot, sweaty hot.  Everyone you see is glowing with a glistening sheen of sweat mixed with industrial strength mozzie spray.  So everything you sit on, everything you touch leaves an imprint of you in moisture.  But there is a little breeze so don't let me put you off.

Now it got to about 4pm and finally, after 3 outfit changes, 3 applications of all day sun cream and half a can of said spray, I decided I would attack the Khao San Road for the evening.  Good choice.

It was buzzing.  A mecca for backpackers and travellers of all ages, with enough food stalls to keep you happy for a year tailors wanting to make you a 3 piece suit for a tenner, fake bags, fake watches and sunnies.  And stalls selling tie dye and harem pants.  Both if which I bought.  Now, before you laugh, you will not be more bemused than me.  I have this image of me, wandering round, glowing with a soft sheen of perspiration, looking like a younger and more down to earth Julia Roberts in Eat, Prey, Love.  When in fact I am a slightly chubby singleton in her early forties, dripping with sweat and Jungle Formula spray, who often gets asked if she is a lesbian.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm just not!

Anyway, moving on, back to the evening.  Thailand is famous for its shopping and bartering and food and I tried all 3.  I started off with said harem pants, took a picture of the man selling scorpions on sticks and the fried insect stall, followed by a small bag, then a tie dye dress (both of which I bought, not took a picture of) then it was time for food.  OMG shut up, I had THE best pad Thai with prawns I have ever tasted, from a tiny stall parked up outside McDonalds!!  In 30 seconds I had hot, fresh, spicy nommy pad Thai, cooked in front of me and eaten al-fresco with the locals costing, wait for it........45 bhat!!!!! Not even a pound!!! It's nearly £8 in England!  That is what I call fast food.  Up yours Ronald McDonald.  I ate it with chopsticks and the Thai family who were eating next to me commented on my good use of chopsticks.  Well I think that's what they said.

Next I bought another bag, followed by pudding of pancake with banana and nutella (that old Thai favourite) freshly cooked by a handsome women, despite her lack of teeth.  30 baht. I wandered and wandered, taking in the sights and the sounds, the smells and the atmosphere.  A band of girls banging drums came through the street, making everyone squeeze together and frantically take pictures. Fabulous.

Then I began to head back to the hotel, retracing my steps, bartering some more and stopping for a fresh mango and passion fruit smoothie, 40 baht, which I sipped whilst I merrily rewound the ball of string I had left so I didn't get lost.

Then I got waylaid.  In a good way.  My neck had been stiff since the plane and I had a headache that was more than just the heat, so there was only one choice. A Thai head, neck, back and shoulder massage.  I asked for half and hour but this is Thai time and when halfway through she asked me to get up I thought we were done.  Hell no.  Just changing positions.  Well, it was an incredible unidentified amount of time, which consisted of me being kneaded and pummelled by a tiny Thai woman to a point where I could take it no more and just let out a little whimper.  She just did it harder.  She then pulled my arms up and did something to them and my armpits (sweat and all) that I could never replicate, making my hands numb for ages but leaving me feeling very calm indeed.

Then with a last flourish of tiger balm and a rub on my face for good measure (that stung a bit) it was done.  And time to pay the bill.  Almost an hour, outside, in the bustling Thai streets, taking in the atmosphere and being stared at by many for the princely sum of 150 baht!!!!! That's not even £3!!!!  I'm going back tomorrow for an hour.  They do a foot massage too, but they don't get paid enough already to be subjected to my hideous digits.

And so it was back to the hotel, laden with goods to try them all on.  They all looked fab, even the elephant pants and I decided I wanted to get another tie dye dress.  It's very hard to spend money here.

Back out, different stall, different dress, another pair of harem pants and then I plonked myself at a bar to enjoy a large Singha whilst watching the world go by and being accosted  by locals selling bits of wood carved like frogs that ribbit when you rub a stick on it.  I will get one, I have not doubt.

So now here I sit.  Back at the hotel, on my day bed, by the pool and the river, using the free wifi and looking forward to what tomorrow has in store.

So I shall leave you know with the knowledge that I am smiling and relaxed, smelling of perspiration, tiger balm and Jungle Formula, and slightly astounded that I am able to type even though my hands are still slightly numb from that massage.  I'm sure it will be all good in morning.

TTFN xx