I'm here, let's get started, better grab a coffee!

Sawasdee Ka from the land of smiles my faithful followers!!  Sorry for the delay but the excitement got the better of me last night and I just had to settle in!!

So here I sit, in my room with a view of the maddest city I've ever been to, listening to Bangkok starting to stir and waiting for the sun to rise (you know me, I love an early morning) and its Blogger time......5.30am to be exact.

Now, after the success of my other big fat adventure blogs (even if I do say so myself) I was slightly concerned that I would struggle to find anything to write about on my relatively short (by my very lucky standards) trip to Thailand.......man alive how wrong was I!!

So where do I start? Where I left off, in the baggage hall of Heathrow Terminal 4, uber early for my flight and desperate to get underway......

After a fry up and a pint, which went straight to my head (I'm sure the air is thinner at airports) I finally boarded my Etihad flight.  First time with them, and very good first impressions.  All funky matching décor and lovely uniforms, comfy seats and a free funky purse with all the essentials in, of which I now have 3.

I settled in and it was all going well until I was confronted by a raging multiple legged sea monster, frantically battling against what could only be described as an assault on its liberty by Greenpeace, thrashing and writhing around in the seat behind me.  I was in fear of my life as I turned round to confront said beast......only to find it was just one of the many gap year students on my flight, struggling to put on her socks.......One glare later and that situation was under control.

Now, I could ramble to ever about the flight, as you know, and I even made extensive notes (as I do) using available writing materials (which this time happened to be the complimentary sick bags, now politely called a 'waste bag') but I will summarise the highlights of my observations as best as I can (get a coffee and take a pew....)

London-Abu Dhabi (sick bag number 1)

OMG Shut up, the plane has a camera on the front so everyone can see what the pilot sees when the plane takes off!!! And one underneath so you can see what you are flying over!!!!  I'm sure it will cone in very handy on my next flight that isn't in the dark.

Note to very posh and intelligent boy in the group behind me, if yours is the only voice you can hear booming across the plane for over an hour, its a fair bet everyone is either asleep or not listening to your theory on astro physics and the take a break crossword.

How do people sleep for an entire flight? The smell of the free food is enough to keep anyone awake.

Why do I always pick an aisle seat, then spend the entire journey straining to see out of the window over the body of the poor person next to me? She even offered to take a picture of the sunrise for me after she caught me trying to zoom in and not get her husband in the shot.

And I always sit at the back of the plane (more room and last to hit the ground in a crash) but it means I am always last for dinner and they never have my first choice.

Abu Dhabi Airport (inside of sick bag number 1, which was problematic as it has a shiny surface to stop the sick soaking through)

Mad.  A queue for transit passengers the like of which I have never seen which meant my leisurely stroll around the riches of duty free was a frantic race to make sure all my liquids were still in the little sandwich bag from London and that I made it to the gate in the time it said on the little departure board. 

Only to sit at said  gate with a bunch of people that looked like the love children of Little Britain and the Life of Brian.

Socks, sandals and money bags, khaki and beige outfits, Velcro, mullets, tourettes, Donnay, hand luggage bigger than my hold bag (always upsets me), Joey Essex on acid, swollen ankle breakingly high wedges, straw boaters and boob tubes - to name but a few.  The socks, sandals and moneybags moved away when they saw me writing on a sick bag.

Almost there, stay with me....

Abu Dhabi - Bangkok (sick bag number 2)

Aisle seat again, with very drunk and rather large Irish man squeezed in next to me who fell asleep immediately and began snoring like a rhinoceros on diazepam.

Most of the plane asleep before take off, heads nodding as I watched the drama unfold on the plane camera which was soooooooo exciting I taped it!! (you are in for a treat)

Flew over Dubai and saw the Palm which was amazing.

Watched Frozen and played Pac Man.

Glared at yet another out of control sea monster for trying to curl its long legs up in the back of my chair.

Enjoyed elbowing the man next to me every time he snored, which made him jerk and jump awake, ask the stewardess for more wine, only to nod off again and leave it teetering on the edge of his fold away tray (which reminded me why I pick an aisle seat).

And then, as if by magic, the bright lights of Bangkok emerged out of the clouds, miles and miles of taillights and traffic, billboards and temples, sights and sounds, food and drink, all waiting to be explored, as we landed almost sideways on the tarmac.

Well, I think I will leave this post there.  I am sure you have nodded off by now and the sick bag is all out of notes.  My first night in Bangkok will follow.......

TTFN xx